1. RUN! Most bar fights stem from jealousy, intoxication and misunderstandings. When some people drink a switch is flipped and they become hypersensitive and irrational. In this drunken state, there will be no winner. So it’s best to avoid the fight all together.

2. Assess the situation. Ask yourself these simple questions: Is this a bar I ever want to go to again? Am I going to regret this in the morning? How drunk is my opponent? How drunk am I? Who has more friends behind them? What would Borracha do?

3. Stand by bartenders and bouncers. They will be the first to break up a fight and their presence will probably even diffuse a rumble before it starts. So, if you want to keep your manicure intact, edge your way closer to these burly men.

4. Take a defensive stance. Lean forward, guard your face with your hands, and firmly plant your feet.

5. Give your best war cry. This will not only intimidate your opponent but also will draw attention. With more attention shining on you, there is a higher chance that your rival will back down. Or he will just think you are a crazy and he will go running for the hills!

6. Act like the victim. This will be your best chance at avoiding criminal charges and being thrown out of the bar.