Hello Portland..  On Sunday, I snuck away to Portland, Oregon to take the 2 day class and exam for 1st Level Sommelier… figuring that Portland was far enough away to shield some of the embarrassment should I fail miserably.

The Court of Master Sommeliers is the international examining body for all things wine and beverage (beer, sake, spirits), with a focus on service. There are 4 levels of certification; Master Sommelier Diploma, the Advanced Sommelier Certificate, the Certified Sommelier Certificate, and the Introductory Sommelier Certificate.  There are only 112 professionals who have earned the title Master Sommelier in North America.  Of those, 95 are men and 17 are women.

I walked off the plane in Portland wearing sandals and tank top which was not the correct pairing for the chilly, rainy weather…. in JULY.  Thoroughly soaked, I arrived to the uber hipster Juniper Hotel and took refuge in my earth-friendly room to spend the rest of the day studying like I was cramming for a final.   I finally dozed off on page 245 of the 1000 page ‘Wine Bible’ that was suggested reading before the course.

Day 1-

I woke up with an invigorating mixture of anticipation, excitement, and fear, just like the first day of high school.

Class began at 8am. Three Master Sommeliers welcomed the 50 students with a quick explanation of how a sommelier tastes wine; Sight, Nose, Palate, Initial Conclusion, Final Conclusion and asked us to raise the first of four glasses in front of us.

BLIND TASTING IS TOUGH

Sight

What is the clarity of the wine? What is its color? Rim Variation?

Nose

Is it corked? Does it have VA? What do you smell? Red Fruit? What kind of red fruit? Black berries? Freshly picked berries or black berry jam? Flowers? Roses? What kind of roses? Freshly cut or dried herb?

Palate

What do you taste? Cherries? What kind of cherries? Are they bing cherries? Cooked cherries? Cherry pie? What kind of earth? Wet earth? Dry earth? Hay? Are you in forest or the plains?

Conclusion

Old or New World? Varietal? Country? Region? Varietal? Year?

After a few blind tastings with everyone in class participating, the instructor asked for volunteers to stand up and blind taste a wine by themselves..  I specifically did not volunteer, did not raise my hand, nor make eye contact of any sort, so of course, she called on me. I had to stand up and figure out the varietal, country, region, and vintage of the red wine sitting in front of me.

My answer “A Syrah, from the Rhone, 2009.”

“Which Rhone?”

“Southern”

She unveiled the wine to be a Syrah from Northern Rhone, 2008. I should have known that Syrah comes from Northern Rhone but I truly felt the wine gods were watching over me.

Day 2-

Another full day of lectures and tasting, with a higher level of tension throughout the class; not as many people talking during the breaks, mostly everyone was focused on the material.

As the morning progressed, and became closer and closer to exam time, I could feel my anxiety rising. What if I failed at this level? How silly of me to travel all the way to Portland to fail my first attempt at Sommelier certification? At 4pm, the exam began; 70 questions in 45 minutes. And if the stress level wasn’t high enough, the results of the exam would be announced at the closing day reception. WHAT?  Failure in front of 50 other wine professionals. Glad I took the exam in Portland, not SLO.

The moment of truth came and…I passed!!! The wine gods were shining on me again.

The next Step-

Level 2, becoming a certified Sommelier. Test is in September. Studying begins now. Anyone up for some wine tasting and education?

Cheers!

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“So, step right up! Come and witness the bizarre and unbelievable feats of elephants, tigers, and monkeys, the glitter and spectacle of the American circus. See the thrills, the beauty, the excitement and laughter that happen when the circus comes to town.”

Circus Vargas is in San Luis Obispo.  Having recently read and seen Water for Elephants, I was thrilled when Katie and Jo invited me to join them for opening night. I looked forward to the circus all day, with visions of elephants, lions, tigers, and freak shows with two headed monsters, women with 5 breasts, and other bizarre circus acts. I bought my ticket early; $25 bucks for the bleacher seats. With ticket prices ranging from $25-$100, the circus ain’t cheap.

cir·cus/ˈsərkəs/Noun

1. A traveling company of acrobats, trained animals, and clowns that gives performances, typically in a large tent, in a series of different places.

I arrived to the circus pre-party at 7pm, with Katie looking at me, shaking her head.

“There’s no animals at the circus.”

“What?”

“Seriously, there are no animals in the circus.”

“How can it be called a circus without any animals?”

I was crushed. I had even downloaded ‘8mm’ on my iphone so I could take vintage circus videos..  How can you call it a circus without any animals? Not even one! The main act of the night was the guy balancing a ladder on his chin! After about 45 minutes inside the hot, smelly tent, I began plotting my escape.

“I have to go to the bathroom.”

I ducked out of the tent, grabbed my bicycle and rode away as fast as I could peddle.

As I rode home, I thought back to the days when the circus was one of America’s main attractions. By the turn of the 20th century, there were over 100 circuses traveling the country at a time, performing shows with over 12,000 spectators. People waited all year for the circus to come to town. It was the biggest day of the year!

In fact, the circus is even responsible for the invention of hamburgers. In 1892, Frank Menches, while selling food concessions, ran out of link sausages so he asked his assistants to form ground sausage into patties and sell them as sandwiches. The hamburger was born.

Unfortunately, the circus also has a dark side of animal cruelty, which is the reason why many circuses no longer employ animals in their acts..

But, as my good friend Ali said “Circus equals animals. Period”.