I knew that opening a bistro and wine bar would entail a few drunk asses slurring their words, saying something inappropriate, or perhaps the occasional drunken outburst.. But I had no idea something like this would happen. Last night, around closing time, a very conservative looking man and his girlfriend came in for a quick night cap and dessert. Both were visibly intoxicated but they had smiles on their faces and were friendly and excited to be there.. And then I asked them if they were interested in dessert. The conversation went something like this

Me: What can I get you two for dessert? We feature Amy Bakes cupcakes.. tonight’s flavor is Chocolate Merlot Grenache

Girlfriend: Id LOVE a cupcake, thank you.

Me: Sure… And what about you, sir, would you like a cupcake?

Drunk-ass: (as he looks over at me with a childlike smile) I’d like a big Pussy, please…

Needless to say, he takes the cupcake for drunk-ass.